Your First Open Adoption Christmas as a Birth Mother
‘Tis the season to celebrate! While holidays are a time to celebrate family, it might be difficult for birth mothers facing their first holiday season. Depending on how involved you wish to be with your child after the adoption is complete, our adoption representatives can work with you to establish either a closed, semi-open or open adoption. In an open adoption, birth mothers have the opportunity to engage with adoptive families and participate in family events, such as Christmas celebrations.
At Adoption Choices of Texas, each birth mother is paired with an adoption caseworker whose aim is to help you create an adoption plan that is best for you and your baby. To that end, holiday traditions and beliefs might be something you find very important. Entering an open adoption can be like becoming a part of an extended family. If celebrating Christmas with the adoptive family is something you wish to do, your adoption team can arrange opportunities to meet the potential adoptive families, so you have all the tools you need for your first open adoption Christmas as a birth mother.
Open Adoption Relationships
Seasonal holidays can be difficult times for birth mothers and often very emotional. With an open adoption, adoptive families have the option to maintain a relationship with you. As a result, holidays are a good time to visit or reach out. Some birth mothers report a very close familial relationship with adoptive families, and by establishing this type of relationship, this opens up doors for further involvement in holiday festivities. Just because an adoptive family will be raising the baby, doesn’t mean you can’t take part.
When working with your adoption caseworker at Adoption Choices of Texas, you always have the option to look through prospective adoptive parent profile books with different criteria in mind. Because of this, a lot of details about the potential families are included in their profile, and you can really get an idea of what the family is like and what values or beliefs they follow. Should religious affiliation be important to you, your adoption caseworker can provide different options of adoptive families who share your religious beliefs. Maybe location is important? We can narrow it down to wherever you feel it is important for your baby to go.
Once you’ve established a relationship with the adoptive family, further strengthening of that connection can be accomplished by taking an active role in family traditions the adoptive family already has in place. You might not feel comfortable establishing your own tradition yet, and that’s okay. Taking part in pre-established traditions can show a respect of family beliefs and desire to participate in your baby’s life. Some families practice religious traditions, while others celebrate family-created traditions. For Christmas traditions, common activities families may participate in can include:
- Gift Exchanges
- Christmas Mass
- Tree Decorating
- Christmas Dinner
- Volunteer Work
If the adoptive family takes part in an activity yearly, taking an active role in their established traditions can really go a long way in building a good relationship with the adoptive family. For your first Christmas as a birth mother, this is a good first step in connecting with your baby’s adoptive family.
Maybe you’re looking for other things to do to take part in the holiday. There are smaller activities that can involve the entire family, and are good first forays into the family Christmas. Some of these activities include:
- Building Gingerbread Houses
- Baking Cookies
- Going to Christmas Craft Fairs
- Mixing up Homemade Eggnog
- Making Christmas Cards
These activities are a lot less formal, but a whole lot of fun. If it becomes something you enjoy doing with the adoptive family, it might be a good opportunity to establish a tradition of your own. It’s all about openness and a desire to participate.
Your First Christmas as a Birth Mother
The holiday season can be an emotional time, so it can be helpful to go into your first Christmas as a birth mother prepared. In an open adoption, the relationship you create with the adoptive family can make all the difference in how involved you are with the baby’s life. Maybe you aren’t ready to host or start your own holiday traditions, but it could be worth it to ask and see what the adoptive family already has in place and become a part of that.
You never know, year after year, where that first step could take you.
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
Meet the Author: From novels to newspapers, Alison Todderud has traversed many facets of the literary world. The fun thing about writing is that it is always evolving, which means there is so much left to explore. A graduate of the University of Montana and Dodge College of Film and Media Arts, Alison has spent her career building a background in various forms of writing.
Her most recent credits include the publishing of an academic study through the Pacific Northwest Communication Association, as well as a screenwriting credit with Onward Adeline, a film that premiered at the Virginia Film Festival in 2020. Alison also works with an international writing collective dedicated to the review and fostering of new writing talent.
Now, she has her eyes set on the editorial world. There is always room to grow as a writer, and Alison is eager to explore and adapt within the marketing discipline.