Why is Closure Sought After
In 2013, a movie came about the adoption story of Angela. It specifically tells the story of her looking for her birth mother and the emotions and the trials it took to find her. This movie hits on many concerns and worries that those involved in the adoption process have over what makes an adoption successful and what happens when the child wants to reunite with the birth mother. Join Adoption Choices of Texas in reviewing Closure…
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 945-444-0333, text us at 945-444-0333, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
A Successful Adoption
One of the major concerns many adoptive parents have is: will I fail this child? A sign that many adoptive parents take to mean failure is the child wanting to meet and find their birth parents. Angela’s mother and sister were originally against Angela looking for her birth mother because their first thought was that she was trying to replace the adoptive mother. They did realize that this wasn’t true.
To any adoptive parent, your child wanting to meet their birth parent isn’t a failure on your part, it’s a success. Your child is secure in the knowledge of your love and you not leaving that they can focus on these other questions are pulling at them. This is especially true in a transracial adoption, as the movie points out, that they don’t get to hear that they look just like so and so.
One of the major things to remember to make an adoption successful is to remember these children have stories. They are not blank slates. Please remember that when they start asking questions they are not trying to replace you.
Adoption Reunions
Reunions are scary for everyone involved especially in the case of closed adoptions. There are so many unknowns and so many things can go wrong. The child is aware they can be rejected and that they might have to take the chance and get hurt.
As a birth mother, you may be thinking: why is this so important to the child? There may have been many reasons you chose a closed adoption and the child wanting to know who you are and possibly reunite with you doesn’t invalidate that. However, please understand that the less the child knows of you the bigger the question mark they have.
Should you ever be that situation, should the child ever want to reunite with you, please keep one thing in mind. The child has no expectations of you. They are not expecting you to be their parent. They don’t want money from you. It’s a very ambitious project to find one person in the almost 330 million people who live in the United States of America.
Closure Review
This is a wonderful documentary. You learn Angela’s story of adoption and reunion not just from Angela, but also from those who are involved in her life. You don’t actually even hear from Angela, herself, until about a fourth of the way into the story. This is a good representation that there are more people involved than just the child and the birth mother in an adoption reunion.
The documentary is filmed by Angela’s husband, and done in such a way that it accurately provokes emotions as the story progresses. It’s as if you are with Angela, feeling as she does.. When she is excited, you get excited. Her disappointment is your disappointment. There are quite a few moments in the film where you can’t help but burst out laughing.
If you have reservations about the premise of Closure, know that we understand. Depending on where you are in your adoption journey, many of the details and issues discussed may be difficult to hear. Yet, overall, Closure takes you a journey of healing and reunion, which makes it all worth it in the end.
Why Closure is Sought After
Closure is an important thing in life. If life is a book, you can’t start a new chapter until you finish the one before. Well, you can, but you may be missing some very important information. This doesn’t just apply to the child, but the birth mother and the adoptive parents as well. If you are the birth mother, you may not even realize you have your own questions until you meet the child again. Some questions you may have could include, but are not limited to: Was this decision the best choice for them? Are they happy? Closure answers those. For adoptive parent(s), Closure could provide a way for all of you to move forward.
In society, a lot of emphasis is put on your identity and who you are. A big portion of that is where did you come from. It’s very painful to answer that with a ‘I don’t know.’ DNA tests should answer your questions, right? Yes, but it doesn’t answer an adoptee’s curiosity of “how did I get here?” or “what was my birth family like?” It doesn’t tell them who they may resemble and take after. It doesn’t tell the child why they were placed for adoption.
Those questions can only be answered by someone, whether it be the child or even the birth mother, taking that first very terrifying step into the unknown. This and more is what Closure offers anyone in the adoption triad.
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 945-444-0333, text us at 945-444-0333, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
Meet the Author: Courtney Moore. Courtney was born in Huntington Beach, California. She is currently attending college for English with a minor in History. Her love for writing started at the age of 11 when she won a class competition for a personification of candy in a short story. In her junior year of high school, she was an editor for her school’s literary magazine. In her senior year of high school, her then English teacher told her that she should pursue a career as a literary scholar. The main reason she decided to not pursue that path is that her passions lied more in the creation of writings than the review of it.
She currently lives in Las Vegas with her very spoiled cat Abby, who she happily adopted from the local animal shelter. Courtney has been a supporter of animal adoptions her whole life.
Her interest in child adoptions began at the age of 14. It was at that age that she learned of how many children were in the foster system. Her own childhood was very unstable; however, she was able to stay with at least one of her parents for a majority of it. As she got older, her interests in adoptions grew. Her hopes are that, one day, the foster care system is fixed and is treated as it should be.
