Things to Know if You’re a Birth Mother Considering an Open Adoption with a Single Adoptive Parent
If you’re considering the option of adoption for your child, the question of whether or not to have an open adoption may have crossed your mind. This is very natural and a common thing for birth mothers to contemplate, and a very important decision to make in your adoption journey. After all, there are three options to choose from — open, semi-open and closed. Along with this comes picking your child’s adoptive parents. There are also numerous options with this choice, too.
But don’t worry! You are in good hands. Your adoption caseworker will be there to walk you through each of these steps, and help you determine what best fits in your adoption journey. There’s no adoptive parent that is chosen more often over the other, but we can share insight into what life may look like for your child. If you’re considering an open adoption with a single adoptive parent — keep reading!
The Ins and Outs of Single Parenting
Single men and women have been pursuing single parent adoption with Adoption Choices of Texas more and more in the last few years. It has become a more accepted idea in society. While two people parenting may be considered ‘ideal,’ it is not the correct way to parent. Single people can be great parents too!
There are a few important things to consider, though, if you are considering placing your child with a single adoptive parent. While there are more positive elements of single parenting, there are few concerns that you need to be aware of before making your decision. We believe in helping you make the most informed choice and want you to provide you with both sides, so you’ll know what life may look like going in.
Positive Elements with Single Adoptive Parents
1) More Time to Develop a Strong Bond
One strong advantage of single parenting is that it allows the parent to spend more quality one-on-one time with your child. This allows your child and their adoptive parents to develop a strong bond and sense of family. Because single parents have a great connection with your child, this allows for growth on both parts. This includes, but is not limited to: dealing with adversity, learning responsibility and balancing priorities.
The bond between a single adoptive parent and your child is an incredibly deep and strong one that is not easily broken.
2) Single Parents Challenge Social Norms
Single adoptive parents are too often met with societal judgments about adopting a child without a partner or spouse to share the burden. While this judgment is fading, it is still alive and well for many people with traditional values. Single adoptive mothers often face shame from society for not giving their child a ‘father figure.’
These challenges can be very hard on a single parent’s self-esteem around their parenting skills and just who they are as a person. Single adoptive parents may experience insecurity, anxiety, and a feeling of unease when they face these unbelievable judgements.
However, while many single adoptive parents may have a moment of insecurity around their decision, many single parents move past these judgements! They decide that other people’s unrealistic expectations around parenting are just that, unrealistic. Single parents strive to make their own expectations, goals, and dreams around parenting.
A single parent household may face challenges around societal expectations, but there is an advantage in all of this darkness. Single parents — single mothers, in particular — give your child an advantage for when he or she becomes adolescents and adults. That is, the courage of inner acceptance and confidence.
Potential Challenges with Single Adoptive Parents
1) Financial Concerns
One of the potential challenges your child may face with a single adoptive parents regards finances, or lack thereof. Money and maintaining financial stability on one income can be a cause for concern in a single parent house. Sometimes the fear of this alone can cause birth mothers to rethink single adoptive parents altogether. But, stay with us. All adoptive parents are different, and many are aware that this is an important element in keeping their family together, and meeting your child’s needs. Thus, many single adoptive parents have worked hard to save an amount that will eliminate this risk.
Single adoptive parents have proven time and time again that they are more than capable of providing for themselves and their family.
2) The Need for a Strong Support System
Another aspect to think about is that single adoptive parents need to have a strong support system to help them through the challenges that life presents, or to give them a break when needed. Because your child’s single adoptive parents bear all the responsibility of raising him or her, it’s natural and necessary for them to have friends, family members or other trusted people in their lives to support them through the ups and downs of parenting.
If your child’s adoptive parents share that they have a support system — this is a good thing! It shows that they have prepared for both the good and bad times, and proves that they are all in to giving your child the best life possible.
Is an Open Adoption with a Single Adoptive Parent Right for You?
Have you found yourself considering single adoptive parents for your child? If so, just like with any other type of adoption or kind of family you consider, it’s important to research and learn all that you can. Ask your adoption caseworker questions. Address any concerns you have. Talk to them more about the ones listed above, or others you’ve thought of. This is all part of making sure that the adoptive parent you choose for your child is the best fit for both you and them.
Many birth mothers see an open adoption with a single adoptive parent as is a great way to have a connection with not only their child, but also have healthy boundaries with the adoptive parent. You may even find some common or more relatable ground with a single parent as, in essence, you are one yourself.
So, is this the right decision for you?
The choice is yours!
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
Meet the Author: Sarah Henderson can best be described as someone with an eclectic taste in all things related to literacy and writing. She can be found reading a wide array of subjects from true crime novels to the next young adult fantasy series. Because of her love of literature, it has been Sarah’s dream to become a novelist herself.
After graduating from college in 2019, Sarah has been spending her time planning, researching and writing for her first novel.
When she isn’t reading or writing her novel, you can find Sarah out for her early morning run, hiking a three-plus mile hike or cooking her favorite vegan meal. She presently lives in Indianapolis, IN and is waiting for the next chapter of her life to begin!