Starting a Holiday Tradition in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother
When first establishing your adoption plan in Texas, there is one important question you must ask yourself: How involved do I want to be after the adoption? As the birth mother, you get to establish the terms of the adoption, which includes your rights to contact the baby and your options for involvement. At Adoption Choices of Texas, your adoption caseworker can sit down with you to go over the specifics of your adoption plan – like what type of open adoption, semi-open adoption, or closed adoption you desire – and walk you through the various steps of your adoption journey.
When it comes to the holidays, this could be a very important element to you. Do you see yourself engaging with the adoptive family for the holidays? If you do, how would you go about starting a holiday tradition in an open adoption as a birth mother?
Holiday Traditions that are Most Important to You
Think about what holidays were like for you growing up. What celebrations do you remember most? Think back to the things you used to love doing when you were younger during the holiday season too. What events and activities stand out the most? What made them so special or memorable?
When thinking about what holiday traditions to implement into your open adoption plan with your child and their adoptive parents, this is a good place to start. There are many options to choose from, yet there are always specific ones that you treasure above others because they meant the holidays were right around the corner.
Some of these traditions may include:
- Decorating the Christmas tree as a family
- Watching a specific holiday movie each year
- Baking cookies or other holiday treats for your neighbors
- Sending holiday greeting cards to family and friends
Holiday Traditions that are Important to the Adoptive Family
Once you’ve narrowed down one or two holiday tradition ideas you’d like to share with your new extended family, be sure to consult with your child’s adoptive parents. Discuss what holiday traditions are important to them. See if you have any similarities. If you do, this may make it easier to come together and create an annual event together.
However, having different ideas about holiday traditions is okay too. Especially if you and your child’s adoptive parents are from different races, ethnicities or cultures. This gives you all a great opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper level by celebrating your respective origins together. It will also show your child how well you and their adoptive parents blend together.
Their traditions may include:
- Celebrating the Festival of Lights
- Lighting the Kinara
- Taking part in the rituals and festivals of Diwali
- Honoring the Sundays in Advent
- Throwing an annual holiday party with family and friends
The Magic of Open Adoptions during the Holidays
Seasonal holidays can be difficult times for birth mothers and often very emotional. Yet, with an open adoption, adoptive families have the option to maintain a relationship with you, which can help you feel less alone. As a result, holidays are a good time to visit or reach out. Some birth mothers report a very close familial relationship with adoptive families, and by establishing this type of relationship, this opens up doors for further involvement in holiday festivities.
When working with your adoption caseworker at Adoption Choices of Texas, you always have the option to look through adoption applications with different criteria in mind. Because of this, a lot of details about the potential families are included in their profile, and you can really get an idea of what the family is like and what values or beliefs they follow. Should religious affiliation be important to you, your adoption caseworker can provide different options of adoptive parents who share your religious beliefs and other family values.
Starting a Holiday Tradition in an Open Adoption
When you have an open adoption with your child and their adoptive family, you create an extended family. This gives you all the amazing opportunity to celebrate the holidays together and create your own special holiday traditions, which will, in turn, deepen your connection.
Because you and your child’s adoptive parents may already have established traditions during the holiday season, it may take time and a lot of discussion to form one that you all can have together. But that’s okay and to be expected. That’s all part of the adoption journey. So, remember to be flexible, respectful and to always keep the lines of communication open and honest with each other. This way, no matter what happens or how plans may change throughout the years, you will always have something to look forward to when the holiday season comes around.
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
Meet the Author: From novels to newspapers, Alison Todderud has traversed many facets of the literary world. The fun thing about writing is that it is always evolving, which means there is so much left to explore. A graduate of the University of Montana and Dodge College of Film and Media Arts, Alison has spent her career building a background in various forms of writing.
Her most recent credits include the publishing of an academic study through the Pacific Northwest Communication Association, as well as a screenwriting credit with Onward Adeline, a film that premiered at the Virginia Film Festival in 2020. Alison also works with an international writing collective dedicated to the review and fostering of new writing talent.
Now, she has her eyes set on the editorial world. There is always room to grow as a writer, and Alison is eager to explore and adapt within the marketing discipline.