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Interview with a Birth Mother: Morgan

By Isabelle Bryan

For birth mothers, putting your baby up for adoption can be an intensely personal and emotional decision. One which may be made based on a variety of circumstances and for a variety of reasons. For Morgan, those reasons were relatively clear. As a teenage mother, she would not have been able to give her child the best life possible. And as an aspiring college student, she would not have been able to give herself the best life possible, either. 

Eight years ago, Adoption Choices of Texas assisted Morgan in planning her adoption. Through counseling, open communication, and support, our adoption agencies in Texas helped lay the foundation for a family’s future. Now, Morgan shares her decision-making process, emotional journey, and advice for birth mothers. 

Choosing Adoption as a Teen Birth Mother

For Morgan, keeping her baby was not a realistic option. She was a teenager, and there were things she wanted from her future. Namely, to go to college. She would not have been able to give her child the life he deserved, nor was she ready to. Instead, she decided to consider adoption de bebes

Choosing an adoption agency was the first step. And for Morgan, who had little knowledge of adoption before she was planning one, that meant taking to the internet. 

“Yeah so I think I found Adoption Choices of Texas by just googling ‘adoption in Texas,’” she says. “I spoke with a couple agencies in the beginning, but I ultimately chose [that one] because it just felt right. Some of the other agencies… were very pushy and aggressive and… I did not feel like I had a choice…. Like it was not my decision. But Adoption Choices of Texas was very caring and supportive…. I never felt alone…. And I felt like I was in control the whole time.”

As a birth mother, you may choose adoption for a number of reasons. Perhaps your financial situation changed and you can no longer support a child. Maybe you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and feel that you are not ready to be a parent. No matter what, it is important to make the decision that feels right for you. And the same applies when choosing an adoption agency. Whoever you work with should make you feel the same way Morgan did. That is, safe, supported, communicated with, and in control. 

Creating an Adoption Plan

Two of the most important aspects of any adoption plan are choosing an adoptive family and a type of adoption. That is, open, semi-open, or closed adoption. Morgan, who wanted to stay in her child’s life, went with an open adoption. 

Luckily for Morgan, the adoptive parents were more than happy for her to do so. But such a welcoming family was not what Morgan was expecting. In her mind, she would communicate by email once a year and occasionally receive pictures. She might even see her child every year or so. Instead, she gets to see him several times a year. 

“My family gets together with his family and we… celebrate holidays and birthdays together…. It is really great. We are like one big family,” she says. 

This relationship began with Morgan choosing what she felt was the best family for her child. Her adoption counselor discussed what she wanted from an adoptive family and then provided her with three books of profiles. Morgan quickly connected to a specific family—and for good reason.

“The family I chose just reminded me a lot of my own family,” she says. “And I feel like we had a lot of things in common.”

The Emotional Impact of the Adoption Process and the Importance of Finding Support

Adoption can be an emotional roller-coaster of a process. As a birth mother, you may experience feelings of guilt, grief, anger, or stress during and after your adoption. But you may also experience feelings of love and hope and make peace with your choice. And for Morgan, that is exactly what happened. 

“In the beginning, I was scared and sad, and I thought my life was over,” Morgan says. However, over the course of her adoption, her confidence in her decision grew. “I felt like everything was happening for a reason and everything I was doing was the right decision,” she says.

Because of how emotional the adoption process can be, it is important to develop a support system. People who can help care for your emotional and physical well-being. This may be friends and family, or it may be professional support. When planning her adoption de bebes, Morgan received all three kinds of assistance. 

While her parents were upset at the news of her pregnancy, they were also fully behind her and her choices. Additionally, she had the support of “a few close friends that were there along the journey with me,” she says. And from our adoption agency, Morgan received supportive counseling as well as financial assistance. 

“Like gas money for getting to appointments, money for phone bills, groceries, that kind of thing,” she says. “I do not think there is anything else that I needed that they did not give me.”

It is important to remember that in order to get this kind of aid, you will need to ask for it. Adoption agencies cannot read your mind. But for those who do ask, the right adoption agency will be happy to help.

How Does Morgan Feel Post-Adoption?

Today, eight years after her child’s adoption, Morgan is still in his life. And she still has no regrets about placing him for adoption. After all, she got to go to college and grow up relatively normally. And she also got the chance to build a relationship with her child and his family.

It is not always easy—especially when he asks questions about his adoption and his relation to Morgan. But her son does understand who she is and is beginning to notice the similarities between them. He even calls her Aunt Morgan, according to her. 

While Morgan does continue to face adoption stigmas, she does not let them bring her down. Instead, she tries to turn them into a way to educate people. After all, Morgan herself was relatively unfamiliar with the adoption process until she was going through it. And for other birth mothers facing the same problem, Morgan offers a piece of advice. 

“Just let the negativity roll off your back… whatever those people are saying is not personal,” she says.

Understanding the Adoption Journey and How It Affects Everyone Involved

Adoption can be a mentally and emotionally draining process. After all, there are adoption options to consider, adoptive parents to choose, and support to ask for. But it is not all stress and decisions. At the end of the day, you are changing the lives of everyone involved. 

If you are considering adoption, take the time to learn as much as possible. Speak to adoption agencies and find resources online. Allow yourself to make an informed decision instead of a hasty one. And if you need assistance, remember that Adoption Choices of Texas is here to help.

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