I Don’t Feel Bad About Placing My Baby For Adoption, Is Something Wrong With Me?

By Conner Sura 

An unplanned pregnancy can bring a foray of different emotions, and if you are someone who is considering adoption. You might feel overwhelmed and worried by the emotions that you are feeling. Giving up your baby for adoption is a painful and hard thing to do. Every birth mother responds differently to adoption. Many birth mothers feel scared and pressured not to pursue adoption because they are afraid that they may feel guilty. However, other birth mothers worry that they may feel relief and bliss after they place their baby up for adoption. 

Although, on the surface, not experiencing grief after the adoption process is finalized may seem like a good thing. Some birth mothers who do not experience grief may feel like something is wrong with them. That in some way, she is a bad person. To add to this, many people, unfortunately, believe that birth mothers are selfish and should feel that they are bad people for putting up their child for adoption. This is not true, and Adoption Choices of Texas wants to help change this mindset and provide the right adoption information. 

Si usted es un hablante no nativo de inglés, puede encontrar más información sobre adopción de bebés aquí.

The Reason You Chose Adoption 

Before we begin, remember the reasons why you gave up your child for adoption. Although adoption is not the only way, it is the one you choose. You walked the difficult road, made the hard choices, and decided on open or closed adoption for your child. 

You knew what was best for your child, and the choices that you made were out of love. None of this was made out of selfishness. 

Feelings Of Bliss And Relief After Adoption 

People grieve differently. This applies to adoption. Yes, you may feel eutrophic feelings of relief and maybe even some joy. Those feelings are natural and are perfectly okay. However, do not let those feelings engulf you in a sea of guilt. Or have other people bring you down because they think adoption is a selfish and evil thing to do. That is not true. You know that is not true. Allow yourself to embrace your own emotions and thoughts after adoption. Every story is unique. 

At adoption centers in Texas, we deal with birth mothers who come from all backgrounds and how they cope with the stressors that adoption brings. Creating an adoption plan, talking with specialists, and choosing the right family for the baby to go to is hard. The buildup of emotions and the choices you make can take so much of you. There is no shame in feeling relieved after adoption. 

Another thing is that feeling joyful that the adoption process is over. It may show that you feel that your child is safe and will live a happy, full life with their new family, especially if you opted for open adoption, which allows you to keep tabs on your child and their adoptive family after the adoption process. Being able and knowing that your child is safe and loved, of course, is going to bring joy. Don’t let anyone try to change your mind about that. 

Nothing Is Wrong With Adoption 

As we previously mentioned above, a lot of people think adoption is bad or evil. And that placing your child up for adoption is selfish and egotistical. Of course, none of that is true. Adoption is one of the most beautiful and loving things a mother could do for her child. Every mother wants the best for her son or daughter, and sometimes, the best means giving your child to a new family. A family that will love your child as much as you do. 

If you don’t believe that your relief came from the comfort of knowing your child is safe and loved. That is also okay. It may come from the adoption process being over. Adoption Choices of Texas understands that the adoption process is long, tedious, and emotionally draining. Feeling any kind of relief after that is normal and okay. It means that you are adjusting well to your post-adoption life. 

Your Life After Adoption 

If you feel relieved and comfortable with your adoption, that may mean that you adjusted to life better after the process. Yet, the emotions could be temporary, and you could experience an onset of guilt and depression afterward. If you notice a downward spiral in your emotions, Adoption Choices of Texas is here to help. We have adoption agencies in San Antonio, Houston, and Dallas and service in Austin. 

Si se siente aliviada y cómoda con la adopción de su bebé. Eso puede significar que se adaptó mejor a la vida después del proceso. Sin embargo, las emociones podrían ser temporales, y podría experimentar un inicio de culpa y depresión después. Si nota una espiral descendente en sus emociones, Adoption Choices of Texas está aquí para ayudarlo. Tenemos agencias de adopción en San Antonio, Houston, Dallas y servicio en Austin.