Gay Adoptive Parents and Open Adoption: What You Need to Know as a Birth Mother
If you are considering open adoption, particularly with a gay adoptive family, you may have questions like: what is the best way to communicate? How can I stay involved in my child’s life? Does being raised by gay adoptive parents change my child’s learning process? These are just a few common concerns and, even if you are undecided, starting the process with a bit more information can make everything that much easier.
As the birth mother, you will get to choose your adoptive family. Keep in mind, though, that no adoptive family is alike. Adoption Choices of Texas will work with you, your child, and the adoptive family to meet all of your needs and develop a plan that works for everyone.
How can I stay connected with my child and the adoptive family?
Just like with any adoptive family, getting connected early — even outside of the adoption process — makes a big difference. Once you’ve selected your child’s adoptive parents, communicate with them right away. Try calling them on the phone or going out for lunch. Simply getting to know each other on a more personal level will help you build a lasting relationship, and make it easier to ask them any questions about their homelife, if you are placing with a gay adoptive family for the first time.
Continue the communication post adoption as well. Even if you can’t meet in person, send them an email or text message. Schedule a ZOOM call. There are many ways, both virtual and not, for you to keep maintaining the relationship and watching your child grow into a happy, healthy adult.
What is the best way to communicate in adoption?
As mentioned previously, something as easy as getting together for a meal is one of the building blocks of a meaningful connection. Being completely open with your child’s gay adoptive family, such as when voicing your concerns and ideas, will allow them to make sure that your needs are met, and vice versa.
If it’s difficult to meet in person, take advantage of all the options available via technology, such as FaceTime, Skype, Google Hangouts and more.
Does being raised by gay adoptive parents change the learning process?
Despite a few misconceptions, gay adoptive parents are just as effective when it comes to raising your child as any other kind of family would be — perhaps even more so! Because they are more comfortable with diversity, your child will grow to be more open minded and accepting, and learn to respect others’ differences. Your child’s adoptive parents will also help guide him or her through personal issues even more effectively, as they can lead through personal experience.
Gay Adoptive Parents and Open Adoption
One of the most important aspects to note when choosing gay adoptive parents and open adoption is that two dads are just as qualified to raise a child as as any other adoptive family. The best way to maintain a healthy open adoption with a gay adoptive family is the same as for any family — communication and support. Being there to help the new parents early on, even through simple means, can make the transition for your child that much easier as well. Just letting your child and their adoptive parents know that you are there can make a world of difference.
Be honest with yourself, the new family and your child from the start. This will set you up for success and a wonderful adoption journey overall.
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
Meet the Author: Elijah Weiner is currently studying English and East Asian Studies at Denison University, and spends the majority of his free time reading a good science fiction book. His interest has always been in fiction, so whether he is reading or writing it is always based upon the imaginary world.
Elijah lives in Boulder, Co and spends his free time reading or bicycling outdoors.