Finding Support as a Birth Mother During the Holidays
The holidays can be a wonderful yet difficult time for everyone, but birth mothers can have an especially difficult time. You have experienced a loss and for anyone who has experienced a loss, a time of year that is focused around happiness, good cheer, and family, the holidays are challenging. Everyone else around you is happy and celebrating this festive time of year, and you may feel left out of this because of the loss and grief you may be experiencing.
This could cause you to come to the point where you cannot enjoy the holidays, no matter what or how you celebrate, at all. But, there are ways and options for you to find support as a birth mother during the holidays.
- Grieve the Loss You Feel
It is important, no matter what time of year, to acknowledge and allow yourself to grieve your loss. Especially during the holidays, you should not bottle up what you’re feeling. After giving birth and placing your child or adoption, it is common to feel postpartum grief and/or depression. Even though you may not regret your decision, you will still feel a sense of loss.
It is okay to let yourself feel your emotions.
Reach out to someone you trust to talk about what you are feeling during this difficult time. This could be your family and friends, a counselor, or even your adoption specialist. Whoever you speak to, be honest with what you are experiencing and let out your emotions. By acknowledging and confronting your feelings, you will better be able to move past the extreme emotions you are feeling and to a place of peace and acceptance.
- Take Time for Yourself
It is important to remember to take time for yourself if you are feeling stressed and down during the holidays. You are experiencing high emotions and that can cause a considerable amount of strain on you and your mental health. By taking care of yourself, you will be better able to keep feelings of despair, loneliness, and being overwhelmed at bay.
Do things that you love during this time! Create a self-care routine that you can use not just during the holidays, but any time of the year. Get a pedicure, take a warm bubble bath, journal your thoughts, splurge on something you’ve had your eyes on for a while — it is the holidays, after all!
But most importantly, be kind to yourself during this time. You are only human and what you are experiencing is the most human experience imaginable.
- Surround Yourself with Those You Love
The holidays are the time of year where family, friends, and everyone else gather together to spend quality cheerful time together. You need to take advantage of these moments with those you love!
Spend time with the people you love most during this challenging time. Whether that be your family, friends, mentors, or someone you trust, reach out to them and let them know what you are experiencing. Those who love you will want to help you as best they can, even if that means just listening and being present for you.
Although they will not ever be able to understand what you’re feeling, the people who truly love you will be there even when they can’t comprehend what you’ve experienced.
- Enjoy the Holidays!
As difficult as this holiday season may be for you, you should make the most of it and try to enjoy yourself. Indulge in those holiday treats, be involved in your family and friends’ holiday traditions, and make lasting memories you will cherish forever.
If it feels right for you, try to create a tradition to honor your child that you have placed for adoption. Just because your child is not present with you, does not mean that you have forgotten them. Create a special tradition for you to carry out each year as a way for you to process your loss. You could do a variety of things such as make an ornament, light a candle, or write a letter. Even if you never send a letter, writing down your thoughts will help you.
While your mind and heart may be somewhere else during this time, enjoying the little moments of joy during this season will be beneficial to you moving forward.
Finding Support as a Birth Mother during the Holidays
This time of year can be amazing, but it can also be a time of year of sadness for those who have experienced a loss. You and many others like you may be feeling an overwhelming sense of grief and sadness. It may seem impossible to deal with your emotions when, all around you, people are celebrating and enjoying the holidays.
But, there are ways for you to move past your emotions and be at a place of peace. Finding support as a birth mother during the holidays is essential for your overall well-being. Not just for this time of year, but the rest of the year. No matter what you are experiencing or feeling, there is hope for you to not only acknowledge your grief but also to enjoy the holiday season for many years to come.
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
Meet the Author: Sarah Henderson can best be described as someone with an eclectic taste in all things related to literacy and writing. She can be found reading a wide array of subjects from true crime novels to the next young adult fantasy series. Because of her love of literature, it has been Sarah’s dream to become a novelist herself.
After graduating from college in 2019, Sarah has been spending her time planning, researching and writing for her first novel. When she isn’t reading or writing her novel, you can find Sarah out for her early morning run, hiking a three-plus mile hike or cooking her favorite vegan meal. She presently lives in Indianapolis, IN and is waiting for the next chapter of her life to begin!