Closed Adoption – What is it and Why it’s an Okay Decision for a Pregnant Woman in Texas Considering Adoption
One of the most important aspects of placing your child for adoption is the type of adoption you wish to pursue. This is a crucial decision when creating an adoption plan that is tailored to your particular needs. It is also important to research and learn all you can as there are three different types of adoption to choose from — open, semi-open and closed adoption — and each have their own pros and cons.
Arguably, the type of adoption that people are the most familiar with is a closed adoption. After all, for decades, the majority of adoptions were handled this way. Adoptions were considered shameful and something to keep hidden. But, gladly, society has shifted towards uplifting birth mothers for making such a courageous decision.
Closed adoptions, although more rare today, are still a good option for birth mothers who prefer privacy or who don’t want to be involved in the adoption process. However, before making a decision about a closed adoption, it is important to understand what it is and why it’s an okay decision.
What is a Closed Adoption?
The basics of a closed adoption are quite simple. Before an adoption is finalized after birth, you will work with your adoption team to create your ideal adoption plan. If a closed adoption is something you want to have, your team will help make it happen for you.
Having a closed adoption will mean that there will be no contact between you and the adoptive parents. No identifying information about either of you is shared, and the adoption records are sealed after the adoption is finalized. These records remain sealed until the child turns 18 years old.
As each and every adoption journey is unique, be sure to consult with your adoption caseworker about how choosing a closed adoption would look for you and your specific circumstances.
Advantages & Disadvantages of a Closed Adoption
Before making a final decision, it is important to learn the potential advantages and disadvantages of the type of adoption you want, and how those will impact you and your child’s future.
Advantages of Closed Adoption
- A sense of closure. A common reason why many birth mothers choose a closed adoption is the sense of closure that often accompanies it. The ability to place their child for adoption and trust that he or she will be loved and taken cared of by an adoptive family. Similarly, the idea of an open adoption can be too painful for many birth mothers. A consistent level of contact with their child can cause all kinds of emotions that are too overwhelming. Having a closed adoption provides you with the ability to better process your grief and be able to move forward.
- Protection and safety. Many birth mothers choose closed adoption plans because it is the safest option for themselves and their child — whether this is personal or occupational. A birth mother may find herself unexpectedly pregnant and in a dangerous situation with an abusive partner or spouse, a sexual assault or an unsupportive family. A closed adoption allows birth mothers to feel a sense of security and safety while going through their adoption plan.
- Privacy. While the idea of an unplanned pregnancy as a shameful act is dying away from society, birth mothers may still not want their pregnancy or plans for adoption to be widely known by the people in their lives. A closed adoption gives birth mothers the ability to keep their pregnancy and adoption plans a secret for as long as they wish. They could be in a vulnerable, unsupportive, or dangerous situation where they can’t be open with the people around them.
Disadvantages of Closed Adoption
- Intense grief and unresolved questions. A closed adoption also has the potential to cause emotional distress for birth mothers. The lack of contact and info can be challenging. It’s not uncommon to feel guilt, shame, and depression. Birth mothers can often have lifelong questions and doubts about whether or not they should have chosen a closed adoption. They can second guess and wish they’d had the option of contact later on.
- Missed opportunity to have a relationship with your child. Birth mothers may also feel that they have missed out by having a closed adoption. It is common for birth mothers to feel sad that they may have missed out on the possibility of having some form of relationship with their child. That’s why it’s important that you feel confident that closed adoption is the right choice for you before making your final decision.
Choosing a Closed Adoption is a Valid Decision
An important thing to know about a closed adoption is that you are not being selfish. Many birth mothers can think that choosing a closed adoption means that they are not only selfish, but also that they don’t care about their child. This is not true!
A closed adoption is a perfectly valid and good decision for you to make if it is the best decision for you and your child. Every birth mother’s circumstances are different, and a closed adoption may work for you. That does not make you a selfish, unkind person who doesn’t care about your child. You have made an incredibly hard decision that has taken a lot of time and thought. Whether or not you want a closed, open, or semi-open adoption does not reflect on you as a person. Everyone is different and you need to do what is best for you and your child.
Closed Adoption – What is it and Why it’s Okay
Choosing to place your child for adoption is a difficult and emotional decision in itself. There are a lot of things to consider, research and learn about. One of the most important aspects is what adoption type will work best for you. But you don’t have to do this alone. At Adoption Choices of Texas, we will work with you to make sure all your needs are met, and that you have the resources available to help you make the best decision for you.
If you decide that a closed adoption is best for you and your child, know that you are making a brave, selfless, and loving choice. We will support you every step of the way and help you see how amazing you are.
As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!
Meet the Author: Sarah Henderson can best be described as someone with an eclectic taste in all things related to literacy and writing. She can be found reading a wide array of subjects from true crime novels to the next young adult fantasy series. Because of her love of literature, it has been Sarah’s dream to become a novelist herself.
After graduating from college in 2019, Sarah has been spending her time planning, researching and writing for her first novel. When she isn’t reading or writing her novel, you can find Sarah out for her early morning run, hiking a three-plus mile hike or cooking her favorite vegan meal. She presently lives in Indianapolis, IN and is waiting for the next chapter of her life to begin!