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Choosing Closed Adoption in Texas

By Shaina Santagata

It can feel like there is no clear path when you find out unexpectedly that you’re pregnant. You get caught in a tailspin of emotions and hard decisions. You’ve stumbled across Texas adoption, and slowly, you’re starting to piece together a unique plan that works best for you and your baby. You’ve created an adoption plan, but another challenging choice needs to be made. You believe that closed adoption is the only option for your situation. Yet, you are hesitant because you want to be certain before you give the go-ahead.

While closed adoptions used to be the standard and traditional approach to adoption, it has become less common over recent years. Adoption agencies and their compassionate professionals advocate for more transparent practices. The reason is that while closed adoption offers privacy with confidential information, an open adoption leans towards opportunities for ongoing relationships and connection. Here at Adoption Choices of Texas, we are happy to guide you through your journey. Let’s explore both options so you feel more informed and comfortable before making a final decision.

What is a Closed Adoption?

A closed adoption is when you decide to have no communication at all with your child once they are adopted. Birth mothers choose this option when they feel it is best for themselves and their baby. Sometimes, life feels too uncertain, and trying to provide stability for a child does not seem possible. We understand that this is not an easy decision to make. If you want your child only to know the adoptive family it becomes part of, that is more than okay. The adoptive family you choose for your baby, with the adoption agency, will provide your child with a safe and loving home. It will give you the ability to start anew.

What are the Advantages of a Closed Adoption?

  • Privacy: The identity of the birth mother/birth parents remains confidential throughout the adoption process. The adoptive family does not have any information regarding who the biological parents of the child are. For some, this sense of privacy provides a feeling of control if they do not wish personal information to be known. Doing so limits the number of individuals who know about the adoption plan, and this level of privacy also applies to the adoptive family. Both parties will be unaware and everything will remain as such from start to finish.
  • The ability to have closure and finality: When choosing to have a closed adoption, it provides closure for a birth mother. If the unplanned pregnancy was the result of a traumatic experience, this can give her the ability to heal and move forward in her life. Other reasons could be financial hardship, relationship instabilities with the birth father, lack of support, and even health concerns. Whatever the reason might be, this is a difficult decision to make. When the adoption is finalized, the child will be with their adoptive family, with no expectation of contact or involvement from the birth mother/ birth parents. By working with adoption agencies in Houston, you can start focusing on repairing your life; there is nothing wrong with making that decision for yourself. 

What are the Disadvantages of a Closed Adoption?

  • Lack of Communication: When a birth mother gives her child up for adoption, choosing a closed adoption leaves questions for her and her child in the future. The absence of contact leaves the birth mother longing for updates on her child’s well-being.
  • Lack of Connection: Having no ongoing contact means the child has no access to information about their heritage or lineage. They might have questions that their adoptive families cannot answer, leaving a void within a part of who they are as they grow up. It might also be unsettling for the adoptive family, as they might be unsure if the birth mother will one day want to take their child back to raise on their own.
  • Emotional Impact: When the door closes for the birth mother/birth parents, it also does for the child. As the child grows up and has questions, they will have difficulty obtaining personal or medical information. They will lose a part of their identity and their family history. By not knowing their biological family or cultural heritage, there is a lack of transparency, feelings of confusion, and a disconnection from their roots.

Why Should You Consider Open Adoption Instead?

An open adoption allows the child the opportunity to know their birth mother and have information about their cultural and ethnic background. We have found that this can reduce the amount of fear that the adoptive parents have about the child possibly being reclaimed by the birth parent(s) in the future. A written plan to have the adoptive family send pictures of your child and receive letters from you at specific points in their life (i.e., special milestones like birthdays, graduations, marriage, etc.) All the details can be sorted out between yourself and the adoptive family, making it a respectful and consensual process for everyone involved.

Some reasons why this ongoing relationship dynamic between all parties has become more common:

  • Peace of Mind: An open adoption provides reassurance to the birth mother/birth parents that the child is in a safe, supportive, and loving environment. Unlike with a closed adoption, where contact doesn’t exist, the line of connection remains open. You won’t have to hope your child is thriving and happy because you’ll know!
  • Communication: By keeping the lines of communication open, you will be able to get updates on your child’s growth and learn about the important milestones they experience as they grow up. The level of transparency can also aid in building trust between the birth parents and the adoptive family.
  • Stronger Sense of Connection: Birth mothers experience emotions of grief and loss after putting their baby up for adoption. Having any type of connection between the birth mother and child can bring a feeling of comfort and make the healing process easier. Additionally, there is a sense of there being an extended family for the child, and they will feel supported by both their birth mother and her community, on top of the one the child has with their adoptive family. It’s truly a beautiful thing!

As you can see, there are pros and cons to choosing a closed adoption. We know that this road is long and sometimes treacherous. We hope that by learning more about the options you have with putting your baby up for adoption, you will find peace and a connection that truly works best. With open adoption, embracing this approach will provide you with solace about your child’s well-being for the rest of their lives. We all thrive when we open our hearts and learn to honor our individual needs and that of others. At Adoption Choices of Texas, we know that leaning on each other and walking that path forward together leads to endless compassion and love. Let us be the ones to be beside you on that path and to remind you that you are never alone.

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