Adoption is a choice, and could be the right choice for you. Additionally, within that one choice are lots of other little choices that expectant parents get to make. As a birth parent, it is important to fully understand what parts of the adoption process you have a voice in. Below are 3 very important aspects of the adoption process that you, as the expectant mother, get to make:
- Type of adoption
As a birth mother, you can either choose:
- an open adoption,
- a semi-open adoption, or
- a closed adoption
An open adoption is when the birth mother/parents are active participants in the adoption process, particularly with choosing the adoptive family as well as communication with them and the child afterwards. A semi-open adoption will be similar to an open adoption, without the ongoing communication or with minimal contact. A closed adoption is the opposite of this. In a closed adoption, the birth parents do not choose the adoptive parents, nor do they have any direct contact with them. The adoptive parents also often do not know anything about the birth parents. When a closed adoption is chosen, however, there will still be a very extensive background check on whomever the agency chooses to be the adoptive parents, so there’s no need to worry.
Whether you choose an open, semi-open, or closed adoption depends on what you feel, and neither is a wrong choice. It is vital to choose whichever you feel most comfortable with.
- Type of adoptive family
You also have the choice of what kind of family you would like to adopt the place baby if you have chosen open adoption. At Adoption Choices, we can provide you with all the information you would want on a potential adoptive family, including photos and a letter addressed to you. While looking through these, you can decide if you’d prefer:
- single mom, single dad, or individual
- a married couple
- a same sex or different sex couple
- a couple with a certain ethnic background or transracial adoption
- really any couple you feel comfortable with!
The good thing about the process of choosing what kind of adoptive family you feel comfortable with is that you can take as much time as you need to make the right choice. If you find yourself struggling to choose, no worries – this is an imperative step in the adoption process that needs careful and efficient deliberation, and should never be rushed.
- Post-Adoption Relationships
This is where the type of adoption you have chosen comes in. If you decided to continue with a closed adoption, you have also chosen limited to no contact with the adoptive parents. However, the choice to reach out to them could be open to you if you decide otherwise. After the adoption has been completed, you have the choice to be as connected with the family and the place baby as you want. Write to them, visit them, call them, or anything else as much as you feel comfortable with. This choice, like the last one, is very important to take your time to think about, as it can be difficult or triggering for some birth mothers.
Although this may seem harrowing, it doesn’t have to be. With help from Adoption Choices, you can make these choices in your adoption process with support and ease! We are here to help, do not hesitate to call 855-304-4673 (HOPE) with questions.