Celebrating Father’s Day and Birth Father’s Day in an Adoption

June is a month full of summer weather, activities, and sunlight. And while June may be a happy month for some people, for you, it could be a challenging time because of Father’s Day and Birth Father’s Day. If you are reading this post, the chances are that you are a birth father experiencing your first year as a birth father experiencing Father’s Day. You may be feeling a lot of emotions such as grief, loss, and sadness. That is probably why the title of this post may be confusing to you. You are probably thinking, there is no way that I will be celebrating Father’s Day and Birth Father’s Day, how could I? It may seem like an impossible idea that you could celebrate a day dedicated to fathers and keep your mental wellbeing in a place of peace. But this post, along with other resources from Adoption Choices of Texas, will be able to show you how you can celebrate Father’s Day and Birth Father’s Day regardless of the type of adoption you have!

If you need help with adoption now, you can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here.

• Reach Out to Your Child

If you have a semi or open adoption in Texas, reaching out to your child may be fulfilling for you to get through this challenging time. It may seem like seeing your child during a time dedicated to fathers may be too painful, but many birth fathers feel that having some kind of connection around Father’s Day helps them to get through their grief.

There are many different ways that you could go about connecting with your child. You could send a letter, have a phone call or video chat, or a scheduled in-person visit. Whatever you ultimately decide will have to be decided after discussing it with your child’s adoptive family. Everyone’s boundaries must be known and respected. It is vital that everyone’s boundaries are honored in order to have a good relationship with your child’s adoptive family.

However you decide to communicate with your child, you need to have honest conversations with them. Questions are bound to come up about you and your story. You must be as open as you are comfortable but remain honest. You could tell them their adoption story, their heritage, or your story. While this may be a difficult conversation to have with your child and their adoptive family, it is ultimately the most fulfilling way for both you and your child to have peace.

• Establish a Tradition

If you do not have a semi or open adoption, this time of the year may be even more painful for you. And while you may not be able to have any contact with your child, there are things that you can do to honor your story in a healthy and constructive way.

Many birth fathers do something specific every year to honor their story as well as their child. There are many different things that you could do, but there are a few most common traditions that are beneficial to birth fathers.

Traditions you could possibly do include:

• • Planting a Tree or Flower
  • Writing a Letter to Your Child For Yourself
  • Connect with Other Birth Fathers
  • Have a Meal with Family
• Honor Your Story

As easy as it is to bury your adoption journey deep inside and not think about it, it is vital that you acknowledge your story and honor it. Burning down your emotions deep inside will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mindset and could be damaging to you in the future. You have gone through a scary, traumatic, and emotional journey that deserves to be known and uplifted.

The best thing you can do during this emotional month is spent it surrounded by the people you care about. What you are experiencing is difficult, and you can’t get through it alone. While it can be hard to be open about grief, loss, and sadness, it is important that you be honest with your support system. Be honest about what you are feeling, experiencing, and remembering.

Your family, friends, and extended family are there to help you through this time. And while they may not be able to give you advice or be able to relate to what you are experiencing, they will always be there to listen to your concerns. That is what a support system is there for!

Celebrating Father’s Day and Birth Father’s Day in an Adoption

For most people, Father’s Day is a day to have a meal with their dad and hand out presents, cards, and thank you’s. But for you, Father’s Day, as well as Birth Father’s Day, can be a painful reminder of your adoption process. It doesn’t have to be that way, though!

By honoring your story and sharing it with the people around you, as well as your child, you can better begin a phase of healing and peace. This won’t be an easy time of year for you. There are constant reminders during the month of June about Father’s Day. It will be difficult, but with your support system behind you and the support of Adoption Choices of Texas, this Father’s and Birth Father’s Day will be a fulfilling, secure, and peaceful day for you.

As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!

Meet the Author: Sarah Henderson can best be described as someone with an eclectic taste in all things related to literacy and writing. She can be found reading a wide array of subjects from true crime novels to the next young adult fantasy series. Because of her love of literature, it has been Sarah’s dream to become a novelist herself. 

After graduating from college in 2019, Sarah has been spending her time planning, researching and writing for her first novel. When she isn’t reading or writing her novel, you can find Sarah out for her early morning run, hiking a three-plus mile hike or cooking her favorite vegan meal. She presently lives in Indianapolis, IN and is waiting for the next chapter of her life to begin!