Birth Mother Grief and Loss

By Charley Lustig

Everyone loves to talk about pregnancy hormones, but few discuss the reality of the emotional roller coaster after birth. Yes, everyone’s journey is different. Some women can handle obstacles that many others struggle with and vice versa. But those hardships should not be dismissed just because they are not universal. In your case, you have probably chosen to give your baby up for adoption. Whatever you’re feeling, you are not alone. 

If you need help with adoption now, you can call us at 945-444-0333, text us at 945-444-0333, or email us here.

Do Birth Mothers Suffer From Grief?

The short answer is yes. Unfortunately, one of the most invasive emotions is grief. This merciless feeling has immense capabilities. A birth mother can be especially vulnerable to grief due to the immense weight of their sacrifice. Their bodies have endured so much. On top of that, they are sacrificing a life with their child.

If you find yourself in a state of grief, know that there is nothing wrong with you. This period is completely normal. At Adoption Choices of Texas, we regularly help birth mothers through their stages of grief. But we can only help so much. You play a major role in managing and overcoming that grief. Allow yourself to acknowledge and accept your sadness and longing. From there, we can help!

Birth Mothers Afraid of Grief Before Birth

Maybe you find yourself late at night stressing about the possibility of grief before you give birth. Your phone may sit on your belly as you search the endless possible scenarios post-placement.The anxiety feeds your thumbs as you rapidly type. Wait a second, slow down, and take a deep breath. 

Being scared of the unknown is completely ok. It is normal. But there is no need to stress. If you are faced with a sense of grief, you are not the only one. Many birth mothers experience those emotions of heartache. Although you cannot prevent these feelings, you are completely capable of overcoming grief. Nothing can trap you from achieving your potential. You are strong!

There are many benefits of creating an adoption plan with Adoption Choices of Texas. This includes deciding your role in the child’s life post-placement and choosing the adoptive family. Being present in your baby’s life with their adoptive family can help lessen your grief. By communicating your concerns about possible grief with the adoptive family, you can create the right plan. The right amount of contact with your child and the support of the adoptive family can go a long way. It can bring you that needed sense of peace and satisfy your longing. 

Resources for Grieving Birth Mothers in Texas

Adoption Choices of Texas is not only there to help you find the right adoptive family for your child. We are also here to contribute to your overall success while supporting your mental and emotional health.

When entering into the adoption process, you are given your counselor. They have aided numerous women prior, allowing for a sense of familiarity with the common emotions of birth mothers-including grief. Your counselor is with you through every stage and can offer as much support and advice as you want. 

Our local adoption agencies are stationed throughout the state of Texas. We provide options for adoption in Dallas as well as adoption in San Antonio. Overall, we have helped many women who have gone through the same experience. A strong community of birth mothers has arisen to support others in a situation they understand. 

How Can Birth Mothers Help Themselves? 

One great thing is that you do not have to rely upon adoption agencies to cope with your grief. Considering that you have the most power for your well-being, there are many ways to help yourself! Here are a few…

• Surround Yourself With Those Who Make You Happy: Hanging out with others who support you and make you feel good is incredibly important in a time of vulnerability. This can be a mix of friends, family, your adoption counselor, or baby’s father. Feeling the love of others can help fill the gaps that you may be experiencing.
• Be Healthy: Eating right and exercising regularly can make a world of difference. You may end up feeling better about yourself internally and externally. Adoption is not a walk in the park, but maybe a walk is what you need to step back from the negativity.
• Explore your Interests: It is always important to discover, develop, and focus on new parts of yourself. Maybe you have wanted to change your hair color or take up candle making. Exploring these interests can give you a needed sense of fulfillment.
• Reflect: Retreat into yourself. Fully consider the decision you have made and reflect on it. You chose adoption for a reason you truly believe in- a successful life. Giving your baby up for adoption is a purely selfless act. Be proud of yourself for who you are and the decisions you make for the betterment of others.

There are so many other ways to cope with grief yourself, so don’t limit yourself to only these. It’s important to allow yourself to feel the grief, but do not let it consume you. Take this opportunity to find yourself. Use your lows to push yourself into creating the best version of yourself. 

Who Can Birth Mothers in Texas Contact Now?

Choosing a baby adoption is a tough decision. It can pull on you from every direction. Grief is common in this process for many mothers. If you are feeling despair, please reach out to our local adoption agencies. We want to be there for you as you navigate through any emotional turmoil. At Adoption Choices of Texas, you make the decisions best for your child, and we help you. 

As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 945-444-0333, text us at 945-444-0333, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!

Adoption Choices of Texas es la única agencia de adopción con servicios completamente en esapñol en el estado de Texas. Si está embarazada y necesita ayuda, llámenos o envíenos un mensaje de texto y uno de nuestros especialistas en adopción podrá ayudarlo. Podemos ayudarte con la adopcion de niños. Para obtener más información sobre el proceso de adopción como una mujer embarazada o una madre biológica, comuníquese con Adoption Choices of Texas. Para español llamar: 888-510-5029