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20, Pregnant and I Don’t Want the Baby. What’s Next?

You are 20 and pregnant. This wasn’t planned. What are you going to do? Perhaps you aren’t ready to be a parent. Perhaps you never saw yourself as one in the first place. You know that you’re not in a place in your life where you can afford a child. In your mind, you may be thinking: I’m 20, pregnant and I don’t want the baby. What’s next?

First, know that you are not alone. Many women experience unplanned pregnancies every day and feel the same way you do. Having a baby is, indeed, a life-changing experience, but take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. You have options. Adoption Choices of Texas is here to help guide you through this difficult time.

If you need help with adoption now, you can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here.

Confirm Your Pregnancy with Your Doctor

Even though at-home pregnancy tests have come a long way in predicting whether or not you’re pregnant, it’s important to make an appointment with your primary care provider or OBGYN to confirm. Your doctor and healthcare team will always be more accurate. They will also be able to provide you with the information and resources you need to ensure that both you and your baby stay safe and healthy. 

For instance, if you want to learn more about your unplanned pregnancy options, your doctor or OBGYN can discuss those with you and refer to local resources near you.

Know Your Adoption Options in Texas

When it comes to an unplanned pregnancy, you have three different options to consider. It’s important that you learn all you can about all three to help you make the best decision for you and your baby. Your options include:

  • Parenting: raising a child can be expensive. It can also take a physical, emotional and mental toll on you. So, if you don’t want your baby, ask yourself these questions: Am I ready to be a parent at 20? Can I support my child financially? Will I have help raising my child? If your answer is no to any or all of these questions, you have two other options to consider.
  • Abortion: if you don’t want your baby, you can choose to terminate your pregnancy. However, depending on where you live, abortion state laws can vary. You’ll want to make sure you learn what your state says. In the state of Texas, you can have an abortion up to 20 weeks. After 16 weeks, the termination procedure is only permitted in a surgical center or hospital. To be approved for an abortion in Texas, you are required to have a sonogram receive state-mandated counseling and go through a 24-hour waiting period.
  • Adoption: your third unplanned pregnancy option is to place your baby for adoption. This ensures that your baby is placed with a loving, caring and supportive adoptive family, giving you both your best chance at life. Your child will grow up happy, healthy and safe, and you can continue to pursue your life goals. You can also be a part of your baby’s life, depending on the type of adoption you choose.

Coming to Terms with Your Unplanned Pregnancy

Finding yourself unexpectedly pregnant can be very difficult to come to terms with. You are probably feeling many complex emotions, such as shock, anger or depression. Know that this is a completely natural response. Don’t worry. You don’t have to do this on your own. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional counselors who can help you process the things you’re feeling at this time.

Our adoption counselors are always available to talk with you. Even if you haven’t decided to place your baby for adoption, you can make an appointment with an adoption counselor and have a safe, private and nonjudgmental space to navigate your emotions.  Once you acknowledge your unexpected pregnancy, then you can start to think about what to do next.

20, Pregnant and I Don’t Want the Baby. What’s Next?

An unexpected pregnancy at any age can be very confusing and difficult. But, at 20, you probably have goals and aspirations about your future, whether that be completing your education or pursuing your dream career. Raising a child in the midst of that could put a wrench in those plans. However, know that your unplanned pregnancy is not the end of the world. In fact, it can be a beautiful beginning. 

If you are considering adoption or looking for more help and information, Adoption Choices of Texas is here for you. As an expectant woman or birth parent, to learn more about adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Texas. You can call us at 888-307-3340, text us at 888-307-3340, or email us here. If you are hoping to adopt, please visit us here. We look forward to helping you through your adoption journey!

Meet the Author: Heather Frederick is in her fourth and final year at Siena College and lives in Delmar, New York. She is completing her BFA in English and has written several plays,The Vagabond, Paneless, and Yours, for the Oppressed. On most days, you can find her in the kitchen baking and singing to showtunes. 

As a member of the BTS Army, she likes to spend time listening to Kpop and learning dance choreography.

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